26th August 2015

Somehow my scale doesn't work anymore.
I told you guys yesterday I had a big FA.
Now I feel heavy and disgusting and I'm about to pile although this would be useless. My stomach hurts like hell.
Now to my scale.
First time 89,8 realistic I think.
Second time 87,2 this means I lost weight?!
I didn't do anything between this so it's really scary.
I believe the first try because it seems more realistic.
I am a fucking fat pig and I weigh much more than yesterday.
Does anyone want to kill me?

Love, Alaska

25th August 2015

Anyone out there to help me? Please?
I really feel like fucking shit.  I just got a bad argument with the boy I love and now everything sucks.
I just had a really bad eating attack. I swear I ate about 3500 kcal.
Now my stomach hurts andI feel like dying.
Please. Help me. I just want to die.
I WILL NEVER BINGE AGAIN!

25th August 2015

Hey guys,
today I weigh 86,8. This cannot be possible.  I didn't lost 1,3 in one day.
But this number looks better. Not good enough but I'm moving forwards
I really hope the scale doesn't lie.
Yesterday I drunk a bear and ate something little.
Today I ate a little cheese and coffee.  The coffee tastes disgusting.
I want to be thin. I have to.

love, Alaska

24th August 2015

Hey guys,
today is a bad day. I just feel like shit.  School started today and this makes it feel even worse. I just feel like a fat cow. It's so disgusting. I wish I was dead.
I cutted again. Just two small cuts.
I ate an apple today.

23rd August 2015

THIS CANNOT BE TRUE!
I gained 1.4 kg! This is so much! I ate less than 1000 kcal (too much,  I know) so I can't gain that much weight.
Today I won't eat. Except I have to. Then less than 100 kcal.
My weight today totally depresses me. I could cry the wohle day.

love,  Alaska

22nd August 2015

I just feel like shit.
I had to eat fish for dinner and two potatos.
That's not that bad, but my mom but BUTTER over it. So much butter.
It was really disgusting.  And I feel like a fat piece of shit.

So today I ate dinner and one forth of a slice of bread with cream cheese that day.

22nd August 2015

I'm dying.
 My mom brought me croissants and they smell like heaven and she will be sad if I won't eat them. But there are so much calories inside. Ist just can't eat them.
I just eat one forth of a slice of bread today. With cream cheese.
That was enough for this day.
I think I will tell her I am going to eat pizza with a friend. Then she surely will not let me eat this croissant.

love, Alaska